Quiz: How Crunchy Are You?

crunchy meme

Have you ever wondered where you are on the crunchy scale? Well wonder no more, folks!! Today is the day where you learn exactly HOW crunchy you are! Of course, this is all in fun and it’s not meant to be taken seriously! Everyone is different and what works for your family may not work for someone else!

You find out that you’re pregnant and the first person you tell is…

Your midwife. She books up too quick and you can’t let a day go by!

Your husband. He is the one who helped create this little critter after all.

Your mom. You share EVERYTHING with her.

Your crunchy mom group because you need suggestions for a doula, stat!

You give birth in…

the hospital. You want your little one to be born into a safe and sterile environment.

a trough out in your yard. It’s got a plastic lining so it’s all good.

the tub at the birth center. You don’t want the mess at your house

a birthing pool in your living room. You want to be surrounded by your own things of comfort.

Dinner tonight is…

Grass fed beef bunless burgers with organic tomato and avocado slices. Sides of organic roasted sweet potato wedges sprinkled with coconut oil and pink Himalayan salt and steamed brussel sprouts. Drinking organic ginger lime kombucha.

Baked chicken with a baked potato. A side of steamed broccoli. Drinking some cucumber infused water.

Chick-fil-A

Frozen pizza. Doritos. Root beer. Phish Food.

What is your garbage routine?

Throw it all into the trash.

I have a bin for plastic, a bin for glass, a bin for paper, a bin for non-recyclables, and a compost bin on my kitchen cabinet that gets emptied into my composting pile outside every day.

I have a recycle bin, a trash bin and a compost bin.

I have a trash bin and a recycle bin.

You need a couple of tomatoes for your salad so you head to…

Whole Foods

Wal-mart

The local farmer’s market

The garden in your backyard

All dirty hippies need to bathe. How do you wash your hair?

I don’t. I have dreads.

I use the no-poo method.

I buy my organic shampoo at Whole Foods.

Herbal Essences all the way!

It’s time to do laundry. How do you get your clothes clean?

They get the most clean when I hand wash them in the river beside my cabin in the woods.

Tide and downy. Gotta smell nice all day!

7th Generation laundry detergent is my favorite.

I use baking soda in vinegar.

Sitting on the counter in your kitchen is…

Every small kitchen appliance you could imagine from an electric can opener to a microwave.

Two bags of doritos, a 2-liter of Dr. Pepper and a rotisserie chicken from Wal-mart.

A crock pot full of bone broth, 3 jars of kefir and a basket of eggs from your backyard chickens.

Four reusable bags full of groceries from Whole Foods.

Your little one falls and scrapes their knee. You…

Grab your roller ball bottle of lavender and fractionated coconut oil mixture.

Kiss it.

Call the pediatrician.

Get a bandaid and the neosporin.

When asked if you plan to breastfeed, you…

say that you are still nursing your 28 month old and can’t wait to see how your body becomes able to sustain two nurslings.

make an icky face and say “that’s disgusting!”.

spend 20 minutes telling them how you have a low supply but still plan to use a supplemental nursing system to continue trying to increase it.

say yes, but not in public!

What will you do with your placenta?

Why would I do ANYTHING with my placenta?

Plant a tree over it.

Have it encapsulated.

Eat it. Placenta smoothies. Placenta stir-fry.

How do you carry your baby?

In an Uppymama wrap

In a wrap converted Tula

In an infant car seat

In an Infantino Mei Tai

Your dream home is…

a five bedroom, three bathroom house so all four of your children can have their own room.

on an old farm where so you can have a big garden and two clotheslines.

in a tiny home because you live simple.

in an earthship that your built from mud and glass bottles.

Your kids fight over…

who gets to pick the tomatoes from the garden for dinner.

the veggie dyed, handmade wood blocks.

who gets the last organic yum-earth lollipop.

the x-box controllers.

Your significant other thinks…

you are in a weird hippy phase.

you need to order some more frankincense oil because this past winter’s sick season ran you pretty low.

that you are fun and free-spirited.

that your mama cloth is so great that they sewed you up a custom wet bag to hang on the side of the toilet.

Author: Charlise Lee

I am a Crunchy Mama of 5 rowdy boys and 2 sweet girls! I also gave birth to a baby girl in January 2016 for an awesome couple as their surrogate. I married my awesome husband, Brian in October 2016 and we are located in a little city outside of Dallas, Texas. I am a jill-of-many-trades. I run a laundry service, do custom sewing and even sell lactation cookies to my locals. I love to shop at thrift stores, take showers without an audience and spend time dreaming of a life off the grid! Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes photos in the life of my crunchy family! View all posts by Charlise Lee

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Author: Charlise Lee