Crunchy in Jail

Well, I bet you have all been wondering where Miss Crunchy Family went, huh? I’m currently behind bars — well, two big, metal doors, to be technical. That’s right — this crunchy mama is in jail! Fortunately, I’m in here for a crime I did not commit (thank you to my ex), so I am just waiting for my attorney to be able to prove that so the charge can get dropped.

Wire fence with plaque saying "980"
© Photo by Isabella Mendes from Pexels

Since I’ve been here, I’ve really channeled my inner hippie. My leg hair, pit hair, and, um, down there hair is all roughly an inch long. This is not exactly due to choice, but necessity. The razors they give you here are good for about one swipe, and we only get them twice a week, so according to my calculations, the hair will never go away. You can also very easily get staph in here, so why chance it?

I’ve began my work on turning everyone that comes through J1 (my tank) crunchy. I had my mom bring me a box of Softcups so I didn’t have to use the pads here. Everyone including the nurses and guards were intrigued by my menstrual cups! Many swore to use them once they got out. Imagine my excitement when a commercial came on out TV for the DivaCup! OMG! A menstrual cup commercial? What?! I’m not sure who was more excited — me, or the other girls! I was, I think. I actually wrote home about it. Haha!

I’ve saved a baby from circumcision. I’ve taught about the importance of baby-wearing. I’ve helped the loved ones of two inmates with essential oils. I convinced many to practice extended rear-facing. I’ve told about all of the different things you can do with breast milk.

Don’t even ask me how we got on the subject of vagina steaming… I’m pretty sure the guard on duty thought we were insane when we asked her if we could order herbs to steam our vaginae.

I’m really proud of myself to have been able to make the best of a totally crappy situation. I’ve made a really good friend here who is going to become a business partner when we go home. She will be opening a drug recovery home, and I will be able to share my knowledge of essential oils and other natural medicines to addicts who are trying to recover. Being able to turn to something that is not a pill, addictive or habit-forming when these people have a back pain or headache will be a big deal to them! I feel like this could be the start of something big, and I was sent here for this reason!

Crunchy Family is alive, well, and not going anywhere! Thank you to my amazing cousin and co-blogger, Liz, for posting this for me. There’s more to come, so stay tuned! Think happy thoughts that I am home by the end of this month! Feel free to write:

Charlise Grisham
406 Hall Street
Hillsboro, TX 76645

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