How this momma takes a shower

First step is checking on the kids. Fed-yup. Everyone had a drink? Sure. Recently used the bathroom? Uh huh. Engaged in an activity? Yes-two are playing hungry hippos and the other is working on a paper project.

by: Garann

by: Garann

I quickly grab my towel and clothing and run into the bathroom. Gently, I close the door and lock it in one smooth, noiseless move. Wasting no time I disrobe and climb in the shower and start the water. My goal today is to shampoo my hair. That’s right, I set goals for my showers.

I begin to reach for the bar soap. Why? Soaping was not the goal. Habit maybe? Wishful thinking. Doesn’t matter. My hand never reaches the bar of soap. I am, instead, startled by furious pounding on the door and the sound of a little voice. I turn off the shower, step out and clutch the towel to my chest while reaching for the door, unlocking and opening it.

There stands my middle child. “What is it? Is everyone ok?” 6yo: “I made a snowflake for you.” Me: “ooohhh! Well thank you! Mommy is trying to take a shower so let’s set it here for now.” I smile encouragingly and begin to close the door. At that moment my 3 yo turns and catches my eye. I optimistically close the door anyway. I realistically don’t bother to lock it.

I get the water back on and I have a new goal: hurry up and shampoo as fast as possible! This hair will get washed today. I know now not to even reach for that bar of soap. What was I thinking?! I shove my head under the stream of water. Must. Get. Thick. Hair. Wet. Now!

I hear the rattle of the door knob. A cool breeze sneaks in and the voice of my 3yo: “mommy what are you doing?” “I’m taking a shower baby.” 3yo: “oh I’m really dirty too! I’m taking a shower with you!” The shower curtain opens with a jerk and my 3 yo steps in. “Mommy, you are hogging the water!” I get told repeatedly that I am hogging the water. I decide to forge ahead and shampoo my hair despite the little one in the shower. A gentle knock at the door. My 8yo walks in “mommy, I’m starving! Can I eat that mango in the kitchen?” I tell her to go ahead and as she opens the door to leave my middle child returns.

I’m now rinsing my hair and my 3yo continues to complain that I’m hogging the water. My middle child sits on the toilet seat and begins chatting about letter sounds: “Why does the letter sound like buh but we call it bee? Why not just call it buh?” This monologue continues, I try and throw in an “ah ha” or “um hmm.” I finish rinsing and stop hogging all the water by stepping out.

I attempt to dress in the cramped space of the bathroom. I realize I met my shower goal. I shampooed my hair! I feel accomplished as I slip on my pants and get a good look at my legs. Shower goal for tomorrow: shave at least one leg.