How to Stop Co-Sleeping with Your Toddler – A Gentle, Natural Approach

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By Anna Marikar

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Co-sleeping is such a beautiful way to bond with your little one. It provides comfort, close proximity, and can be a great thing for the entire family, especially in those early months of age or through the toddler years. But there comes a big stepwhen you may feel it’s the right time to help your child transition to their own sleep space.

Whether it’s due to sleepless nights, the arrival of a new baby, or simply the need to reclaim your own space, gently guiding your toddler toward independent sleep is completely possible.

how to stop co sleeping with your toddler

Let’s talk about how to navigate this big transition naturally, with patience, understanding, and respect for your family’s unique sleep situation.

Acknowledging the Benefits of Co-Sleeping

Before we move on to the flip side of transitioning, let’s take a moment to celebrate co-sleeping. Sharing the family bedsupports bonding, breastfeeding, and helps little kids feel safe during those night wakings or scary dreams. It’s no wonder so many families naturally co-sleep for a long time.

But sometimes, as our two, three or four year-old toddlers grow, they start needing their own space to stretch out, and parents may long for a good night of sleep. It’s okay to want both – the benefits of co-sleeping and a path toward independent sleep. The most important thing is finding what works best for your family.

When Is the Best Time to Stop Co-Sleeping?

There’s no general rule for the best age to stop co-sleeping. Some children happily move to their own toddler bed around two or three years of age, while others need more time and a more gradual approach. It’s about finding the right time for your child and family. 

Life changes like a new room, new baby, or upcoming changes can sometimes trigger the big kid bed conversation.

If sleep regressions, night feeds, or separation anxiety are still common, consider whether a smooth transition is possible right now or if waiting another little bit might work better. It’s not necessary to resort to aggressive sleep training methods. There is no deadline on co-sleeping, but if you feel your child is ready then there are some gentle methods you can try. Different things work better for different kids, so some of these ideas may suit your child better than others. 

Gentle Methods for a Successful Transition Away from Co-Sleeping

There’s no need to go cold turkey when moving your toddler to their own room. A more gradual approach often works well for little kids, allowing them to feel secure in their new sleep space. Here are some better ideas to make the process easier:

Create a Calming Bedtime Routine

A consistent bedtime routine signals that it’s time to wind down. A warm bath, snuggles, a favorite book, and soft white noise machine can help ease your child into deep sleep in their own crib or own bedroom.

You can also add a few minutes of quiet time with dim lighting or a soothing lullaby to help your toddler transition from an active day to a restful night.

Introduce a New Bed as a Positive Experience

Moving to a new environment can be scary, so make the child’s bed inviting with soft bedding, a special stuffed animal, or even a cozy sleeping bag. Letting them choose their own toddler bed or sheets can make this transition feel like a big kid achievement.

Talking excitedly about their “big kid bed” and celebrating small wins like napping in their new space can boost their confidence.

Stay Close During the Transition

If your child struggles with separation anxiety, try staying nearby in the new room for the first time. You can sit on a floor bed or use a sticker chart to reward progress when they stay in their own space for the whole night.

Gradually decrease the time you spend in the room each night to help your child feel secure while learning to sleep independently.

Night Weaning and Adjusting Night Wakings

For toddlers who still wake for night feeds, gently night weaning can help them settle into longer stretches of deep sleep. Respond to night wakings with reassurance while encouraging them to return to their own bed.

You might try offering water or a quick cuddle to help them soothe back to sleep without needing a feed.

Use a Transitional Object

A special blanket, stuffed animal, or even your T-shirt can act as a comforting object, making the sleep situationfeel less unfamiliar. This little thing can provide big comfort!

Let your child hold onto their transitional object during the bedtime routine to make it a familiar part of falling asleep.

Reassess the Sleep Environment

Ensure your toddler’s new space is safe and comfortable. Address body temperature concerns with breathable soft bedding, and consider whether a white noise machine might help them settle in their separate room.

Keep the lighting soft with a nightlight and remove any distractions like bright toys or noisy devices to create a calming space.

Transition to Sleeping in a Room with Siblings

For some children, the idea of sleeping in a separate room all alone can feel overwhelming. Moving from the family bedto a shared space with older siblings, older cousins, or even another family member can be a great way to make the transition smoother. Having the comforting human presence of someone nearby can ease separation anxiety and help your toddler feel less alone during night wakings.

This can also be a bonding experience, as sharing a room often helps siblings build closer relationships while supporting each other through those nighttime transitions.

Adjusting Expectations and Staying Patient

Transitions take time, and that’s completely normal! Some nights may feel long, and sleepless nights might still happen. The bottom line is to move at a pace that feels right for your child. If things feel tough, remember that this big transitionisn’t a race. You’re giving your child the gift of confidence in their own sleep space.

Helping your toddler adjust to their own room is a great way to foster independence, but it doesn’t mean you’re taking away the comfort and connection they’ve enjoyed in the family bed. The most important thing is showing patience, kindness, and understanding during this big step.

If your toddler sleeps happily in their separate bed some nights but crawls back in during the middle of the night, that’s okay. Progress takes time, and every small success counts. You’re not alone – many parents navigate these same challenges, and with a little patience and love, your child will adjust beautifully to their own space.

Trust the process, trust your instincts, and know that a good night of sleep for the whole family is on the horizon.

More Sleep Tips for Kids

If you’re looking for additional ideas to support your child’s sleep journey, we’ve got plenty of better ideas to help with everything from sleep regressions to creating the perfect sleep plan. A little extra guidance can go a long way in helping your little ones get the rest they need.

If you found this blog post helpful, please share it with friends, family, or anyone navigating their own sleep situationwith toddlers. Sharing is a great way to help other parents find gentle and supportive solutions for a good night of sleep!

how to stop co sleeping with toddler

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